


this feeling inside

by juicytree21



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Divorce, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Post-Divorce, Pregnancy, the fire nation was homophobic but Zuko kissed it better, writing the first chapter made me cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25660591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicytree21/pseuds/juicytree21
Summary: Years after a devastating loss, Sokka visits the Fire Nation where he's offered a position in the royal court. The job is fun for a while but it quickly becomes overwhelming when he discovers he has feelings for Firelord Zuko.Does he dare to pursue what he wants? Or will his fear of betraying his past stop him?
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please grab tissues

_ “Zuko.” He barely glanced up at his wife as she approached his desk. “We need to talk.” _

_ “Can this wait, Mai? I’m busy. We’re dealing with some issues that Aang encountered with the restoration efforts in the Earth Kingdom colonies that my father invaded. He’s also still trying to restore the Air Temples.”  _

_ “I want to dissolve our marriage.” He stopped his writing and looked up at her. As always, her face and body displayed no emotion or sign of weakness but her eyes were slightly watery. _

_ “I don’t understand.” She sighed and looked down. _

_ “I love you, Zuko. I think part of me always will but I want an exciting life filled with adventure, love, and travel. Being married to you and being stuck in this forsaken palace is killing me. I want more from life. I’m not getting any younger.” He curled his hands into fists and shook his head. _

_ “What’s his name?” He asked, choked up. _

_ “Ty Lee.” He stared at her in shock but she stared back at him with steely resolve. She knew what position she was putting him by admitting that and she didn’t care. She was filled with more fire than any bender he’d ever met. _

_ “Mai…” He said softly. “Do you know what you’ve done by telling me that?” _

_ “Yes I do. I’ve forced you to decide to lead with your heart or your anger. Will you imprison us or let us go?” _

_ Zuko sat back in his chair and growled under his breath. He covered his face and sighed so heavily that Mai chuckled a bit. He shook his head and thought hard about the appeals that had gone through the royal courts and been denied, subjects who threw themselves at his feet when he traveled and begged for the release of their friends, children, siblings.  _

_ Izumi’s sweet face flashed through his mind and he thought of what would happen to his beloved daughter if she grew up like her mother, if she wanted to marry a woman, or if she wanted to be a man. Would he force her to live her life in misery? Force her to lie about who she was and what she wanted? _

_ He looked back up at Mai and stood. She tensed slightly but her face did not give away her worry.  _

_ “I love you, Mai but...I don’t think I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Now you’ve got someone who loves you, deeply. Someone who’s been dear to you for over 20 years. Who am I to deny you happiness?” She smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. _

_ “Thank you, Zuko.” _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko supposed he should’ve been surprised when Mai told him she wanted their marriage dissolved but he wasn’t. He’d been so swept up in Firelord business and their efforts for peace and harmony to notice her pulling away, spending more and more time with Ty Lee. He couldn’t really blame her. Their bond was always different and stronger than the one he’d ever had with her. 

He was worried mostly for how this would affect his daughter. She was already brilliant and skilled like her ancestors before her and she was barely five. The parents she knew and loved no longer together, under the same roof. 

The rumors would be the worst. 

_ “How could the Firelord grant the Firelady a reprieve but not his own people?” _

_ “If he’s letting her go free, then why not change the laws for everyone?” _

_ “He’s almost as bad as the others!” _

He didn’t want his own people upset but he also didn’t want Izumi growing up in a bigoted Fire Nation, one that was stuck in the ways of his father and his grandfather before him. 

Now he was sitting facing his advisors who were all speaking over one another, desperately vying for his ear. He ignored them and bounced a flame between his hands.

A decree had gone out the day before for the entire Fire Nation, decriminalizing what his homeland had shunned for years. Those who were imprisoned were to be released immediately and the former crime wiped from their records. Once the entire Fire Nation knew, legalizing marriage between same-gender partners wouldn’t be far behind.

Arjun, his Earth Kingdom advisor, stepped forward and the others grew quiet. Zuko barely acknowledged him and continued juggling the flame. He heard fireworks in the distance and he smiled at the idea of his people celebrating.

“Firelord Zuko, please think of the negative consequences this will have. This much change too quickly will surely bring more rebels and usurpers. We’ve already dispatched almost all of the Kyoshi Warriors to deal with insurgents. We cannot risk an attack on the palace.”

“You’re quick to assume the worst. In case you haven’t noticed, people are happy. We’ve been stuck in our old ways for far too long and my people have suffered because of it.”

“There are traditionalists who will surely be upset, sire.” 

“They are old and stuck in their ways. Soon they will pass onto the spirit world and life will continue. I can’t deny my people love and respect while demanding it for myself.” He stood and the advisors instinctively backed up. “This is the future, Arjun. We will have the support of our people, the support of the Southern Water Tribe, the North likely won’t be far behind. And Avatar Aang as well.” A few of the advisors muttered to each other at the mention of the Avatar. Zuko glared down at Arjun who shrunk under his gaze and averted his eyes. “You’re dismissed.”

They cleared the room and he ducked down one of the hallways behind his throne, eager to get to the courtyard. He wanted to grab Izumi so the two of them could sit by the turtleduck pond and watch the fireworks together. As he made his way through the hallways, guards looked at him nervously, shifting in their positions and he frowned.

He stepped into the courtyard and smiled at the sight of his daughter who was training with her teacher. She landed a punch and her teacher, Amina, smiled at her. They bowed to one another and Izumi looked over at her father with a grin.

“Papa! Did you see? I finally hit Master Amina!” He kneeled down and opened his arms as his daughter ran over to him.

“You were wonderful! One day you’ll be the best warrior in the Fire Nation.”

“What about the world?” He laughed and nodded.

“Of course! You’ll have to train a lot though if you want to beat Suki.” She frowned and thought for a moment.

“Second best isn’t too bad.” He laughed and kissed her on the top of her head.

He carried her over to the benches around the pond and sat her on his knee, the two of them looking up at the evening sky. Fireworks exploded overhead as people cheered loudly and sang.

“Mama sent me a scroll today! It was about fighting styles! It came from Omashu! Master Amina said we could practice them tomorrow.” 

“Did you get a letter too?” She nodded and pulled a folded up piece of paper out of her pocket. She unfolded it and held it out to him. 

“Mama said I could go with them next time they come home! She said she’ll take me to see the world! Can I go?” She pleaded with him, the letter clenched tight in her tiny hands.

“Well I don’t see why you can’t spend the summer with mama and aunt Ty Lee.” 

The two of them sat together, talking as the fireworks continued exploding overhead. A servant came through with dinner for the two of them as well as some diced fruit for the turtleducks. Izumi filled her hands with the fruit and held it out for the small creatures to eat. Zuko loved watching his daughter experience the world in new ways every day and it filled him with pride. His thoughts were interrupted by someone behind him clearing their throat. 

He turned to see Chiyoko, one of the Kyoshi warriors, standing there. She was holding a letter and he could see tears welling in her eyes. He shot to his feet and the woman handed him the letter.

“News from Aiya about the battle in Saga.” Aiya? Shouldn’t the letter have come from Suki? He took the letter and practically ripped it open, already aware of what the words inside would say.

He scanned the words quickly and he covered his mouth. His throat went dry and he felt his hands shake. Chiyoko looked down at her hands before bowing to him and walking away. He could hear her muffled sobs as she left the courtyard. He folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he turned to look at Izumi who was happily feeding the turtleducks, blissfully unaware of the terrible news. She turned to look at him and her face fell.

“Papa, what’s wrong?” 

“I have bad news, Izumi.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Sokka burst into his father’s house, exhausted from a long day’s work. He’d been training warriors all day which always took a lot out of him. He expected there to be dinner waiting and his father with a smile and a funny story. Instead, he was greeted to the sight of his father reading a letter with tears in his eyes. Katara was sitting next to him, one hand on her fathers and the other on her swollen belly. She’d also clearly been crying and he paused.

“What happened?” Katara looked up at her older brother and a sob escaped her lips. 

“I’m so sorry, Sokka.” He crossed the room and took the letter from his crying father. He scanned the words quickly and shook his head.

“No...no this can’t be right. They must be wrong.” Hakoda stood to approach his son but Sokka backed away, the letter falling out of his hand.

“Sokka…” His father started.

“NO!” He screamed. His hands shook and his eyes burned as they flooded with tears. 

“Sokka, please sit.” His father touched his arm but he pulled away. His whole body was shaking and he was only slightly aware of the fact that he was sobbing. He screamed again and collapsed to the floor. Hakoda kneeled next to him and ran a hand across his back, trying to calm his son. 

Seeing his child hurt the way he’d hurt after he’d lost Kya was awful. No parent wanted to see their child heartbroken like this. His son had already lost his mother and Yue and now…

Katara kneeled next to her brother as well and pulled him into her arms. He screamed again and she kissed the side of his head. She just held him and let him cry. She was hurting inside as well not just for Sokka but for the woman who’d been a sister to her. 

“Suki can’t be gone! This is a mistake! It has to be! Katara, please tell me it’s a mistake.” Her lip trembled and he groaned loudly, a guttural noise that made her heart ache. 

“Aang is coming by soon with Appa. We’re heading to Kyoshi island first thing tomorrow.” Hakoda said, wishing he wasn’t saying what he was saying.

“Not Suki! Anyone but her! Please!”

The next morning they were all on Appa’s back, flying towards Kyoshi island. It was a trip that would take several days but nobody would dare hold the funeral without Sokka there. He was her partner of 12 years and they wouldn’t disrespect that. 

When they landed right outside of Kyoshi, they were immediately greeted by Zuko and the Kyoshi warriors. They all exchanged hugs except for Sokka who had his arms wrapped around himself, like he was holding himself together. Aang helped him off of Appa and patted his shoulder once he was on solid ground. He glanced around at the warriors who all bowed to him and he sighed.

“Hey guys.” His voice was weak and frail. Chiyoko approached him and pulled him into a hug. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around her. The other warriors surrounded them and placed their hands on Sokka and lowered their heads, their lips mouthing a silent prayer.

When the women finished, they stepped away, allowing Zuko to step forward and hug his friend. Sokka clutched on to him tightly and both men were silent. After a moment, they pulled apart and the warriors motioned for the group to follow them.

The town was quiet as Sokka headed towards the temple where Suki was. The townspeople were gathered outside as he approached. As he walked towards the steps, the townspeople parted like the sea, allowing him access inside. The temple was dark inside, save for some flickering candles. 

Laying on the altar at the front was a figure dressed in warriors garb. Her face was painted and her familiar fan was splayed across her chest, her fingers clutched around the base. Even in death, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She looked so peaceful and he felt his chest ache. He placed a hand over hers and frowned at how cold it was.

“Hey sweetheart. It’s me.” He ran a hand down her face and his bottom lip trembled. “You look so beautiful.”

He leaned down to kiss her forehead. Her makeup was undisturbed and he was grateful for that. She’d kill him if he messed up her makeup. 

“I should’ve known you’d go before me. You were always rushing into whatever battle would take you. I guess you’re probably happy right about now. You always wanted to die fighting.” His voice cracked and he choked back a sob. “You got your wish, stubborn girl.” He laughed a bit and he was sure Suki was probably laughing somewhere as well. 

The funeral was long and every moment felt like a knife was being pounded deeper and deeper into his heart with every word. Chiyoko and the other warriors gently wrapped her in a white sheet and lowered her into her coffin. Aiya covered her shinto with a white cloth as well, protecting her from evil spirits. They placed coins in her hands before sealing her into the coffin. 

Once the ceremony was over, they lifted her coffin and carried her North to her final resting place. Standing on the edge of the town was another altar, this one lower to the ground. They placed her down on it and draped another white sheet over the coffin, this one doused in anointed oil. Someone handed him a burning torch and for a moment he hesitated but he knew Suki would want this. A true warriors sendoff.

He stepped forward and touched the torch to the fabric. It went up in flames quickly and he dropped the torch to the ground, stepping back over to his sister’s side. 

They watched as she burned, the smell making Sokka physically ill. But he never took his eyes off the flames once. At some point Aang had taken his free hand and was cradling it gently. It was a touching gesture from his brother-in-law and it made him smile a bit. 

The rest of the night passed by in a blur and before he knew it, they were saying goodbye, preparing to fly back home. The warriors were all offering him their condolences and telling him he was welcome back as often as he wanted. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that ever again though which broke his heart. He loved Kyoshi island but everything there reminded him of Suki.

A few weeks later, Bumi was brought into the world, red-faced and screaming. His lungs clear and his cries strong and without knowing it, a small part of Sokka healed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok before you kill me, I did NOT kill Suki for the sole purpose of putting Zuko and Sokka together. She is one of my favorite minor characters and it hurt to write her death. I've heard before that she died young in battle and I thought it would be interesting to play off of that. She was a powerful woman who absolutely would die to protect her soldiers. Playing with themes of grief and loss, as well as new love after that kind of loss was interesting to me. If I ever write another Zukka fic, she will be that bitch and she will reign supreme.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Five Years Later_ **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

Sokka shielded his eyes from the bright sun and looked down at the city below him. The Fire Nation airship was making good time in bringing him to the palace. The palace could be seen in the distance and he smiled. He’d just gotten back from visiting Katara and Aang, and his favorite nephew Bumi. The toddler was full of energy and blissfully unaware of the sibling growing in his mother’s belly. 

The airship began descending in the field near the palace and Sokka picked his bag up off the floor. There were a few small red dots on the ground below and he was sure it was Zuko there to greet him. A huge grin spread across his face at the thought of seeing him. It’d been almost a year since the last time they had been together and it’d been even longer since he’d seen Izumi. He just hoped she was there and not training at some elite academy or traipsing around the world with her mother and step-mother. 

The ship shook as it touched the ground and Sokka eagerly waited for the gangplank to be lowered. Once his feet were back on solid ground, he threw his bag down and ran over to Zuko who was already walking over with a smile on his face.

“Firelord Zuko!” He laughed and the two men embraced. They held on tightly for several seconds before Sokka pulled away to get a good look at his friend.

There were crow’s feet beginning to form around his eyes and gray hair peppered his temples. He was sporting a beard that was well groomed and his familiar top knot had a gold chain braided into it. He was wearing casual clothing for once which was surprising to Sokka who hadn’t seen him out of royal dress since he was 17.

“You look great, Sokka!” 

“So do you! It’s nice to see you relaxed a bit.” 

“Well I’m trying my best. Hard to do when you’re running a nation.” Sokka threw his arm over his shoulder and grinned.

“We’ve got a lot to catch up on and there’s a niece I wanted to see.” His tone was hopeful and Zuko frowned.

“Izumi is spending a few weeks with her mother on Ember Island. You’re stuck with me.” Sokka laughed.

“Well there’s worse people to be stuck with. Like Azula!” Zuko snorted and shook his head.

“She’s much better now. Trust me.” 

“I do. Just don’t ever leave her alone with me.” 

The two men walked to the palace, arm in arm, as the guards followed closely behind. When they arrived at the courtyard, Zuko asked one of them to find a servant and put an order in for dinner. The two of them sat down in the grass and Sokka shrugged off his thick jacket. 

The air was warm and the breeze smelled faintly of fresh bread. The turtleducks quacked and swam in circles around the pond and Sokka watched them with a smile. He pulled some jerky out of his pocket and bit into it.

“Dinner is coming soon. Why are you eating?” Zuko asked, confused.

“I’m hungry. Want some?” He offered him the piece he’d taken a bite from and smiled. His friend hesitated a moment before grabbing it and taking a bite.

The most vile taste spread across his taste buds and the amount of salt made his mouth sour. He swallowed hard and forced a smile. 

“It’s good.” He handed the jerky back to Sokka and shuddered a bit. 

“So how’ve you been, Zu?” Zuko sighed and looked across the pond. 

“Busy and stressed. Izumi is getting ready to head to the academy here in the city, my advisors are pressuring me to marry again, and both of my water tribe advisors left last week.” 

“Wow that’s...a lot.” 

“You’re telling me.” 

“Why are they trying to get you to remarry? You’ve already made an heir for the empire.” Zuko threw a small rock into the pond, his other hand playing with the grass.

“They want to make sure that my lineage is secure. They don’t want Azula or her children taking the throne if something happens to me or Izumi. I don’t want to even think about my daughter…” He trailed off but Sokka knew what he was implying. The fact that his advisors were trying to get him to make a replacement for Izumi in case the worst happens made his blood boil.

“I would’ve fired them for even suggesting that.” Zuko smirked and turned to look at Sokka.

“I did. Why do you think I’m out two water tribe advisors?” He barked out a laugh and clapped Zuko on the back.

“Well if you’re looking for a new advisor, I’m sure I can recommend someone from back home.” 

“I was actually going to ask if you’d be interested in the position.” Sokka choked on the jerky he was chewing and coughed. Zuko patted his back as he tried to regain his breath and get the jerky out his lungs. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” He rasped, desperately grabbing for his canteen and taking a swig of water. “I just wasn’t expecting a job offer!” He coughed again.

“Well that’s part of the reason I invited you. You’re one of my closest friends and I thought you could do the job better than anyone. That is, if you’re interested.” 

Sokka thought for a moment. He’d spent his entire life preparing to be a warrior and a leader of his tribe but as he grew older, he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted anymore. A position like this would help him if he ever decided to return home to become chieftain. He looked up at Zuko who was awaiting his response and grinned.

“When do I start?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katara stood at the kitchen table, slicing up fruit for Bumi’s lunch. The little boy was running around the house pretending to be the Avatar and fighting imaginary monsters. She smiled at her son and put a hand on her belly when the baby suddenly kicked.

“You’re going to be a bender, little one. I can feel it.” She whispered. 

Aang entered the house with a smile and a letter clutched in his hand. Bumi ran up to his father and ‘blasted’ him with a ‘fireball’. He clutched his chest and fell to the ground, his tongue lolling out of his mouth dramatically. Bumi giggled and jumped onto his father who groaned.

“You’re getting so big!” 

“Mommy said that too!” He raced away and Aang smiled.

He approached his wife and gave her a quick kiss. She smiled and he stroked her cheek before a hand on her belly. The baby kicked again and his grin grew wider.

“Someone is eager to get out.” Katara scoffed.

“Not soon enough. I think she might be an organ bender because my stomach is killing me.” He laughed and leaned down to kiss her belly.

“Be kind to your mother, little one.” He stood and offered his wife the letter he’d come in with.

“What’s this?” She wiped her hands off and unfolded it. 

“Sokka is staying with Zuko in the Fire Nation. He took a position as an advisor.” She read the letter and frowned.

“He’s not coming home?” 

“I think this will be good for him. It’ll be a long time before he’s chief and this will help him prepare for it.” He kissed away the worry lines on her forehead and took her hand. “He’ll be fine. He and Zuko get along like oil and fire.” She laughed and nodded.

“I’m sure you’re right. But I can’t help but be a little worried.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka pulled on the collar of his robes. The advisor’s robes were blue and white and heavy. The constant heat from the dormant volcano under their feet combined with the thick clothing made him sweat all day. He continued to fidget as citizens stood in front of Zuko, airing their complaints and making requests. A lot of them were serious but more often than not, they were pointless issues to bring to the Firelord.

Nevertheless, Zuko took each one seriously and offered help for them all. Whether someone was complaining about needing a window replaced or medicine for their sick husband. A man was standing in front of him now complaining about a pest who kept stealing from his cabbage patch in the middle of the night. 

“Well I’m sure we can provide a guard to patrol your garden until the creature is caught.” The man smiled and bowed.

“Thank you, Firelord Zuko.” The man exited the chambers as the guards ushered in another citizen. Sokka fanned himself and Zuko caught his eye and smiled. His stomach fluttered and his face warmed. He brushed it off as impending heatstroke. 

When the last citizen left, the advisors bowed to Zuko and filed out of the throne room. Sokka wiped sweat off of his forehead and faked panting. Zuko laughed and waved his hand, the air around him cooling quickly. He sighed with relief and leaned against the pillar.

“Why are these robes so heavy and hot?” 

“How do you think I feel? I’m in my robes all day. You only have to wear them when you’re in here.” Sokka placed a hand over his heart and bowed his head.

“My condolences.” Zuko smiled and motioned for the man to follow him. 

They walked down the back hallways until they were in the hallways surrounding the courtyard. A few guards walked past them and bowed their heads in respect. Zuko opened the door to his office and stepped aside for Sokka to enter ahead of him. The room was pitch black but was quickly illuminated as a ball of flame appeared in the Firelord’s hand. He threw it forward and it bounced between the candles mounted on the walls and lit them all. 

The room was filled with armor and weapons of all kinds and his jaw dropped. Zuko laughed and gestured towards the items.

“I figured you’d appreciate this. I discovered it recently. It was my great-grandfathers collection. It’s been sealed away for nearly 100 years.” Sokka ran his hands over the scrolls and books on the shelves. He picked up a bow staff off the table in the center of the room and gave it a test swing.

“This is amazing!” 

“It’s yours.” He looked back at his friend in shock expecting him to be fighting back a laugh but he seemed completely genuine.

“You’d just give me all of these ancient relics and scrolls because you felt like it?” He nodded.

“I feel no connection to these items. Sozin was a bastard. But you like this stuff and I thought it might make things better for you here. I know you’re having trouble settling in.” 

Zuko smiled softly at him and Sokka felt the same flutter he’d felt just a few hours before. He’d felt it once years before as well when he’d helped him free Suki from Boiling Rock. He smiled back at him and quickly looked away, feeling overwhelmed. 

“Thank you, Zuko. This means a lot.” 

Later that evening while he was lying in bed, Sokka thought of Suki. He pictured her smiling face as they laid in bed together, trading stories and jokes. He loved her fiercely and passionately and even then, five years later, he still felt that love. But then he pictured Zuko at dinner earlier that evening. They were cracking jokes and trading stories and his heart felt fuller than it had in years. 

He’d given him an esteemed position in the palace, a room full of artifacts, and his devoted friendship. Now he was imagining what it might be like to ask for more. To dare to  _ want  _ more. What would Suki think? Wasn’t it too soon?

He sat up and threw his blanket aside. He walked over to his desk and lit a candle, pulling a piece of parchment out of his desk and his pen. He dipped it in the ink in front of him and frantically began scribbling out an entry for his journal. 

The next morning, he met with Zuko in the dining room. The bender was already eating his breakfast and reading the local newspaper. He looked up at Sokka and offered a smile.

“Good morning.” 

“I know I’ve only been here for a few weeks but I was wondering if I could borrow an airship?” He asked suddenly, ignoring the greeting. Zuko raised an eyebrow.

“What? Is everything alright? Did Katara have the baby?” 

“No. I just...have business back home. I won’t be gone long but it’s important.” 

“Of course, Sokka. You can take whatever you need.” 

_ Damn, you’re so generous. _

He packed what he needed and dressed in his traditional Southern Water tribe clothes. There was a small airship waiting for him in the fields near the palace within the hour. He climbed aboard and took off.

The trip was long and lonely. He almost wished he’d asked for a pilot but he knew he didn’t have reason to ask for one. He’d helped invent the ships in the first place. 

When he landed the airship just outside the walls, he was greeted by half the tribe. He grinned and greeted his friends, neighbors, and former pupils with hugs. He chatted with everyone for a few minutes when Aang made his way through the crowd. He grinned and pulled his brother-in-law into a massive hug.

“You’re back so soon!” Sokka laughed and nodded.

“Thought I’d stop by for a visit and see how my little sister is doing.” Aang smiled and wrapped an arm around Sokka’s shoulder.

“What about Kya?” He looked at him confused for a moment before realization dawned.

“The baby is here?!” Aang grinned and nodded, pulling him within the walls towards their home.

“She was born three days ago. Healthy and strong. She looks so much like Katara.”

They walked up on the house and Aang held the flap aside for him to enter. Bumi was playing silently in the corner with some wooden dolls but he shouted with joy upon seeing his uncle. Sokka ran over and scooped the little boy up, peppering his face with kisses. He squealed and covered his eyes. 

“Uncle Sokka! Mama had a baby! She’s ugly!” Sokka burst out laughing and put his nephew down.

Katara stepped into the room, clearly annoyed at the commotion. She cradled Kya to her chest and smiled at Sokka. He stepped towards her and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“How did you get here so soon? We just sent the letter yesterday.” 

“I was just stopping in for a visit but now I can meet this beauty.” Katara gently passed her over to her brother. He looked down at the sleeping newborn and his heart swelled. Her little cheeks were fat and red, her eyes were squeezed shut, and she was breathing softly. 

“She’s beautiful, you guys.” He whispered, pulling the baby closer. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake.

“I’ll take her.” Aang took her from Sokka and carried her back into the other room. 

Once he was safely in the other room, Katara leaned in to hug her brother. She was pale and clearly exhausted but her smile still reached her eyes. She pulled him over to the table and gestured for him to sit. She raised her hands and the tea from inside the kettle over the fire rose out of it and landed gently in the two mugs on the table.

“I can’t tell you how useful that is with two children.” He laughed and grabbed the cup, wrapping his frozen fingers around it.

“I got so used to the heat that I’m already cold.” She laughed and grabbed her own tea, taking a slow sip.

The two of them sat and talked quietly, catching up on everything that had happened in the past seven weeks. She told him how Bumi had finally started school, he told her of his room back in the palace filled with ancient weapons. He grew silent as she continued to speak, his mind wandering. 

“Sokka! Are you listening?” He snapped himself out of his thoughts and she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”

“I can tell.” She was clearly faking being annoyed but he still felt guilty. “What’s got your mind wandering?”

“Katara...do you think I’m a good person?” His question clearly surprised her as she almost choked on her tea when he asked.

“What? Why would you ask that?” He sighed and looked down at his hands, almost ashamed.

“I feel like I’m betraying her by feeling this way. Like, I’m breaking some rule I don’t know about.” He choked up and he covered his mouth. Tears were threatening to spill down his face and Katara frowned. She walked around the table to sit next to him. She took his hand and he smiled weakly.

“Is this about Suki? He nodded and she sighed. “Why do you feel like you’re betraying her?”

“I think I have feelings for someone. I’m not sure but I feel awful.” 

“Oh Sokka!” She pulled him into her arms and rubbed his back. He wrapped his arms around her and let himself cry. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met.” She pulled him back so she could look him in the eye.

“Really?” 

“You’re so kind and smart. You put everyone before yourself and I know that if it’s something you want, you’ll be an amazing chieftain one day. You’re allowed to feel like this. Love is something that we all share as humans. Whether it’s for each other, our homes, our families, or a partner.” She took both of his hands in hers. “You do not betray your love for Suki by feeling this way. Love is not finite.” 

“He’s so kind and I…” He trailed off and Katara smiled.

“Whoever he is, he’d be lucky to have someone like you.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild Toph appears!

“What’s up, Zuzu?” Zuko turned to see Toph approaching him. Her bare feet slapped against the red marble as she walked over to him. She was in her uniform and her hair was pulled back from her face. She smiled and opened her arms and he walked over to hug her.

“How’ve you been Toph?” She shrugged.

“I’ve got two toddlers so you tell me.” He laughed.

“How are the girls?” She pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Nothing alike. That’s what I get for having kids with two very different men.” He held out his arm and she reached out to put her hand on it. 

“So what do I owe the honor of this visit?” She grinned and elbowed him.

“Can’t we catch up before we get to business?” She acted offended at his question and put a hand on her hip.

“I saw you just a few months ago, Toph.” She laughed and nodded. 

“I wanted to talk about possibly borrowing some... _ resources _ for my new metal bending academy.” He nodded.

“I don’t see why we can’t loan you money for your school.” She frowned and turned to face him, her eyes staring blankly ahead.

“I don’t like how you stressed the word ‘ _ loan _ ’, buddy.” She wagged a finger in his face. “You owe me, remember?” Zuko laughed and nodded.

“Alright, alright! I concede. I’ll see what I can do.”

After a short dinner together, Toph left for the Earth Kingdom. Zuko knew she loved visiting but she also hated being away from her duties for too long. She was loyal to her children and students and didn’t like being gone for too long. 

Once she’d left, Zuko felt that lonely ache he’d been feeling since Sokka had left two weeks before. Izumi’s absence every summer made him sad but it was something he was used to. Sokka’s absence felt different though.

The two men had been close for years. Their friendship was something he cared for above quite a few of his other relationships. He knew he had thought of Sokka as more than a friend for a while before he’d taken the job as his advisor but he hadn’t truly wanted to admit it. 

He’d never been a huge romantic but he’d tried for Mai. She had never been one for jewelry and roses though, so he gave up after a short while. But he wanted to do nice things for Sokka. That was the whole reason he’d shown him Sozin’s weapons room. It was the most romantic gesture he could think to make without being obvious about it. 

Seeing the look on his face when he’d told him everything was his made his heart flutter. He wanted to give him more, do more for him, but he hesitated. Not only was Sokka a widower but Zuko hadn’t even entertained the idea of being in a relationship again. Especially not one with another man. He stepped into his office and froze at sight in front of him. 

Standing there in his parka was Sokka with a huge smile on his face. His cheeks were slightly red and his arms were crossed over his chest. Zuko stepped into the room and closed the door.

“When did you get back?” He shrugged.

“About 10 minutes ago. Thought I’d surprise you and by the look on your face, it worked.” He nodded, still slightly in shock.

“How was your trip home?” He asked, walking around him to sit at his desk.

“Great! Katara had the baby. They named her Kya, after our mom.” Zuko grinned.

“That’s amazing! I’ll have to arrange a visit to see them soon.” 

There was a long silence between them and Sokka lowered his bag. He put his hands down on the desk and looked down. Zuko reached a hand out but pulled it away, not allowing himself to touch his friend.

“I lied about why I went home.” He sighed and sat down at his desk.

“I figured. I just didn’t want to say anything.” Sokka looked up at him and smiled. It was different than every smile he’d ever given Zuko and his breath hitched.

“I needed to talk to Katara about something personal. I would’ve talked to you but it was about you and that would have been an awkward conversation.” He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

“Did I do something to upset you, Sokka?” Zuko asked, standing up quickly. 

“No! It was the opposite.” That confused the firebender but he sat back down, suddenly nervous. “I needed her advice about some stuff I’ve been dealing with. Stuff that I’m still kind of dealing with. Give me some time and I promise that I’ll tell you. It’s nothing you need to worry about, ok?” Zuko felt like his heart was in his throat but he nodded anyway, not wanting to show his worry. The thought that he’d done something that warranted Sokka travelling all the way back home made his stomach turn. 

“I understand. I won’t push the subject.” He tried to make his voice even but it cracked slightly and his friend smiled.

“It’s nothing bad. Stop worrying.” Zuko’s brow wrinkled and he glared at him.

“I am  **_not_ ** worrying.” He smoothed down the front of his robes. “I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day. You should get some sleep as well. I’m sure you’re exhausted.” 

“I’m never too tired to talk to you.” He felt a blush rise to his cheeks and he looked down.

“You should still get some rest. I don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.” Sokka waved him off.

“I’ll be fine. If I was worried about sleep, I wouldn’t have come here first.” 

Zuko ran a hand across his face and fought back a yawn. Sokka saw him struggle and he stepped around the desk to pull his friend out of his seat. The firebender was suprised by the sudden action and the flames around the room flared for a quick moment. If Sokka noticed, he didn’t act like it.

“Let’s go to bed then.” 

“What?” Zuko asked, startled. His friend raised a bewildered eyebrow.

“Uh...go to bed? Our rooms aren’t that far apart. We can walk there together and I can tell you about my visit.” 

“Oh! Of course.”

The two men walked to their rooms together, Sokka gushing about his new niece. He spoke so animatedly for someone who’d just gotten back from such a long trip. He didn’t seem to care though as he walked backwards down the hallways, making sure to face Zuko while he spoke. He waved his hands around, nearly hitting a few guards as they walked. It was something he’d found annoying once but his energy was something he looked forward to when he saw him. It refreshed him.

They stopped outside Sokka’s room and the warrior pulled him in for a hug. He practically melted under his touch but he did his best to act normal. He patted his back a few times before pulling away.

“Goodnight, Zuko.” He said softly, a gentle smile gracing his lips. He’d never wanted to kiss him as much as he did in that moment and it scared him. He backed away and offered a weak smile.

“Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He practically ran to his room once he was around the corner. The guards opened his door as he approached and muttered a thanks. The doors closed behind him and he covered his face and let out a muffled scream. The flames around the room flared like the ones in his office but for much longer. 

He ripped his heavy robes off and pulled his sleeping gown out of his closet and tugged it on. He was going to sleep for a long time and in the morning, these adolescent feelings he was having would go away. He was an adult, the Firelord, and he better things to do than blush at dumb jokes and imagine kissing Sokka until he was breathless.

Zuko waved his hand and all the candles in the room went out. He climbed into his bed and pulled his blanket over his head, like he could pretend that everything was normal. That he wasn’t slowly falling in love with his womanizing best friend. Sokka deserved better than him anyways.

_ ‘Idiot!’  _ He thought as he drifted off to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sokka awoke much later than he planned to. The sun was already past his window and the birds were not chirping. He sat up slowly and leaned on one elbow and used the other hand to rub his eyes. He could hear people talking in the courtyard below and he briefly glanced out the window before walking over to his closet.

He dressed in casual Fire Nation dress and ran a hand through his hair before vetoing the wolf tail. He was too tired and hungry to pull his hair back. There was a sudden sharp knock on his door and he shouted, jumping backwards away from his closet. He’d instinctively put his hands up in a fighting stance but quickly lowered them.

“Come in!” The door creaked open and a maid entered, offering an apologetic smile. She gave him a small bow and he returned it. 

“Good evening, Advisor Sokka.” He scratched his head and groaned.

“Evening? That’s not good.” She giggled at him and he smiled.

“Firelord Zuko has invited you to join him for dinner in his suite.”

“I bet he’s also the one who gave the order not to wake me either.” He grumbled under his breath. 

“I’m not at liberty to say.” She gave him a small wink and he rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

Once the maid had left, Sokka rushed over to his small bedside table, practically ripping the drawer out as he opened it. He pulled out the small bottle of cologne he’d bought in Gaoling the last time he’d passed through. He dabbed the liquid on his neck and dabbed some on his wrists as well. When he was sufficiently pleased with how he smelled, he stepped out of his room. 

The walk to Zuko’s room was short and he wished it was longer so he could hype himself up their dinner. They’d had dinner alone practically every night he’d been at the palace, save for his trip and some state dinners, but this one was nerve-wracking. He knew he had feelings for Zuko, there was no denying that but how could he possibly bring it up to him? What if Zuko kicked him out of the palace? Or told him he never wanted to see him again?

The thought made his whole body fill with anxiety and he briefly thought about turning back and just sending a maid to deny the invite. But he was still walking towards his room and the guards opened the door for him. He gave them a thumbs up and walked awkwardly into the room, earning a perplexed look from them both. 

Zuko had his back to the door when he entered, looking out his window at the main courtyard where citizens and nobles alike entered the palace. He stepped up behind him and cleared his throat. He didn’t turn around but instead motioned for him to join him.

“This palace is so big. So many people go through this courtyard every day from all walks of life. Earth Kingdom representatives, the children of servants playing tag, citizens coming in hopes of speaking to their Firelord. It’s overwhelming to think that this palace was closed to all of these people for so long.” Sokka looked at him flummoxed and Zuko turned to him with a smile. “I’m glad I met you. All of you. If I hadn’t, then none of this would’ve changed.”

“I’m glad I met you too. If I hadn’t, I’d never have been able to call you my best friend.” The smile on his face flickered and he turned back to the window. Sokka put a hand on his shoulder but the Firelord walked away, going over to the table covered in food.

“We should eat before this gets cold. I have something I want to talk to you about.” 

“So do I.” That caught his attention and his stiff demeanor relaxed.

Zuko sat at the head of the table and Sokka seated himself to his right, as opposed to across. He grabbed his glass and took a huge gulp of wine. He fiddled with his utensils as Zuko served himself.

“Are you going to grab something to eat or just play with your spoon all night?” He asked, pulling Sokka out of his thoughts. 

“Yes! Sorry.” He scooped rice into his bowl and pieces of fried fish onto his plate. Zuko handed him a small bowl of soup and another bowl with pickles. “This smells delicious.” He said, picking up some of the pickle with his chopsticks and shoveling it into his mouth.

They ate in silence, occasionally broken by a cough or a burp. They could both tell the other had something that was wanting to say but neither spoke up. After they finished, Zuko chugged the rest of his wine and poured himself another glass.

“Dude, what’s wrong? You’re more quiet than usual.” His hands stumbled and he splashed wine on the table. He groaned and put the bottle down.

“I’m sorry. I’m nervous.” 

“Why? Did something happen?” He shook his head and curled his fist in the fabric of his robe.

“I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind for a while but I’m not sure how you’ll take it.” That made Sokka a bit nervous but he just leaned forward so that he was closer to his friend.

“You can talk to me. I won’t bite.” He snorted.

“Alright then, I’ll just say it. I just hope you don’t hate me after.” He took a sip of his wine and looked up at Sokka. He watched him with curious blue eyes and his heart flipped. “I'm falling in love with you.” 

The world felt like it had suddenly stopped. The words he had planned to eventually tell Zuko were instead being told to him  _ by  _ Zuko. He stammered for a moment and the Firelord nodded, like he understood something that hadn’t even been said.

“You’re falling in love with me? But I thought you were…” He trailed off and looked down, trying to wrap his brain around the information he’d just been given. 

“I’m sorry for putting you in this position but I felt like if I didn’t say something, my heart would explode. I know you don’t feel the same. If you want to leave, I won’t blame you.” Sokka snapped back to reality and looked up at him, alarmed.

“Leave? Why would I leave?” That seemed to confuse him. 

“You don’t want to leave? I thought-”

“What? That I’d suddenly hate you? That I wouldn’t want to be here anymore? That I couldn’t possibly feel the same way?” Zuko had tears in his eyes and he frowned.

“Yes.” He said softly. Sokka reached over and grabbed his hands. 

“You’re incredible, Zuko. How could I not feel the same way?” 

“What are you saying?” He seemed unwilling to process what he was saying and Sokka chuckled a bit.

“I’m falling in love with you, too.” 

Sokka leaned across the table and was met by Zuko who brought their lips together. He cupped his face and kissed him deeply, like he couldn’t get enough of the sensation. The firebender didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands but he eventually settled on gently grabbing Sokka’s forearms and eagerly kissing him back. He’d kissed and been kissed before but this was definitely one of the best.

“Are you sure about this Sokka?” Zuko asked, when they’d separated a bit. His voice was low and raspy and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He pulled him in for another kiss, this time pulling Zuko out of his seat. 

The firebender wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close, their bodies pressed tightly together. Sokka wrapped his arms around his neck and fought back a smile that was threatening to spread across his face. 

“What are we doing?” Zuko asked, bringing a hand up to brush his hair out his face.

“Making these dishes very hard to clean tomorrow morning.” Zuko grinned and pulled him in for another kiss.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is it spicy?!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late. depression theydies and themtelmen

The morning birds chirped a scattered song, slowly waking Zuko. He grimaced at the bright light and rolled over. Sokka was curled up next to him, arm across his waist and face pressed to his back. The sun streaming through the window, was accentuating the dark freckles across his face and the medium brown highlights in his dark hair. He reached a hand out to push the hair out his face and smiled. 

Sokka stirred slightly and snuggled closer to him, peeking his eyes open. The two men smiled at each other for a moment before Zuko leaned down to kiss him. It seemed to wake the younger man up a bit and he pulled him closer.

“Mornin’ handsome.” He said with a grin, running a fingertip across his chest. Zuko grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“Good morning, Sokka." He frowned and brushed a lock of long hair out of the bender's face.

"You're so formal. Why don't you call me " _ hot stuff _ " or " _ sexy _ "?"

"Good morning...sexy." Both men grimaced and Sokka shook his head.

"Forget I said anything." He sat up on his elbow and splayed a hand across Zuko's stomach. "Well that was fun." His face warmed and he nodded.

"I agree." He leaned in for another kiss which Sokka gave him with a smile.

"Do you have plans for the day? Because I'm free." He furrowed his brow and thought for a moment. "At least I think I am."

"I have a meeting with Arjun and some of my other advisors today but you don't need to come." 

Zuko climbed out of the bed and walked over to his wardrobe. As he rifled through his underclothes, Sokka snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to the back of his neck which sent a shiver down his spine.

"What if you delay it?" He kissed his neck again. "Just for a few hours." 

"I'm tempted, extremely tempted." Zuko turned to face him. "This is an important meeting though. At least that's what Arjun said." Sokka scoffed and moved backwards to sit on the edge of the bed.

"He says every meeting is important but they're all dumb. Most of the time he's just pressuring you to remarry."

" _ It's for the sake of the Fire Nation, my Lord. _ " They both said in unison, mocking the man's haughty voice. Sokka snorted with laughter and Zuko looked back at him with a smile.

"I love your laugh." Sokka's laughter faded and his face darkened a bit.

"I love yours too. On the rare occasion I'm graced with its presence." The older man shrugged.

"It takes a lot to make me laugh. You should know this by now."

"Guess I gotta start practicing my jokes then!" He said with a mischievous smile. 

"Oh no…"

A short while later, Zuko was sitting at the head of the table in the throne room. He tapped his fingers on the table and looked over the papers that had been put in front of him. They were announcing the birth of King Kuei’s third child. 

“We’ll have to send a congratulatory letter and a traditional Fire Nation gift.” Bayani, one of his advisors, took the letters and nodded. 

“Sire, do you not see the issue with this?” Arjun asked, from the other end of the table. Zuko sighed.

“No, I don’t. What could possibly be wrong with Kuei having a child?” Arjun stood, the other people at the table giving him annoyed looks.

“He’s strengthening his kingdom more and more every time he has a child. We need to be thinking about the Fire Nation’s future.”

“What in the world are you talking about? We are stronger than we’ve ever been!” Bayani said, glaring at his fellow advisor. 

“I mean no disrespect, my lord, but I think it’s time you begin seriously considering marrying again. Creating as many heirs as possible is vital to the survival of the Fire Nation and your bloodline." Zuko glared at Arjun and stood, the look sending a chill down the Earthbender's spine.

"Are you trying to say something will happen to myself or my daughter?"

"No, sir! I'm just saying it's best to be careful about these matters. There's an assassination attempt on your life almost weekly. Creating more heirs would-"

"Creating replacements, you mean? That's what you're saying, right?" Arjun looked down, sheepish, and shook his head.

"My apologies, sir. That's not what I was implying."

Zuk Lookedo growled and the torches around the flared so bright that everyone in the room jumped, save for Sokka who just raised an eyebrow and smirked. The Firelord looked at his advisors and sat back down, gesturing towards them.

“What do you all think? Do you believe I should marry?” They all stuttered and stammered nervously, not knowing what to say. 

“Do whatever makes you happy.” Sokka piped up. The water tribesman had his hands behind his head and a relaxed look on his face. “If you wanna marry, go for it. If you don’t, then stay single. Spirits forbid something happen to you or Izumi but if it does, there will always be someone else to take your place and life will continue.” Zuko gave him a subtle smile which earned him a wink in return.

“Great idea. Now if you all will excuse me, I haven’t had my breakfast yet.” He stood and moved towards the back entrance. “Sokka?” The warrior shot up from his seat and followed after him, waving at Arjun as he left.

When the door had closed behind them and they were alone in the hall, Zuko grabbed Sokka, pressing him against the wall and kissing him. He moaned and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him back passionately. The Firelord inhaled sharply and brought his mouth to his throat, sucking and kissing his way to his collarbone.

“What’s got you so excited?” Sokka asked, breathless.

“You.” He replied, pressing another open-mouthed kiss to his throat. He smiled and pulled his mouth back up to his, pulling at the ties that held his robe shut. 

They fell open and Sokka smiled, running his hand across his toned stomach. He brought his mouth down to his collarbone, leaving a trail of light red marks in his wake.

"You should really move this to a bedroom." They both jumped and turned to look at Chiyoko who was suddenly standing a few feet away, her arms crossed and a smile on her face. Zuko's face turned a deep red and he looked away, embarrassed.

"We were just about to do that, actually." Sokka smiled at her and ran a hand across the top of his head, clearly uncomfortable. “Well I think I’m going to go somewhere that isn’t here.” He backed up and opened the door back into the throne room. He slipped out and Chiyoko turned to look at Zuko.

“You two are cute together.” He smiled and she took a menacing step towards him.

“I know you’re the Firelord but if you hurt him,” Her gaze darkened and his heartbeat quickened. “Let’s just say I  _ will _ make sure that it looks like an accident.”

“Are you threatening me?” She smirked and backed away.

“Yes, I am. Sokka is family and he is protected by the Kyoshi warriors just like you. Except we like him more.” Zuko laughed and patted her on the back. She laughed with him and he knew she was joking. Well, he hoped she was.


End file.
